March 16th, 2012 Grandma Louise

Although I have had this account for awhile, I have never really attempted a blog as I should have. I think it would be cool to have a blog that people read and can be inspired by or learn something do, or just be flat out entertained if bored. A few years ago, today, my grandmother passed away from pancreatic cancer. It was a very hard year for me. I believe I was in 6th grade maybe? As she began to get progressively sicker, my mother, sister, and I moved into her house for a couple of weeks until she would meet her fate. We soon realized she needed much more help and had hospice come be with her most of the days and gone in the evenings. You could see all the pain in her eyes. She was a strong woman but even the strongest must let others help them be strong sometimes. That is what my mother did. She was there to support my grandma and care for her every need. Towns even helped her to get up and walk. She was coming to the final chapter in this life, and it broke all our hearts. Day after day, we had to watch a beloved grandmother and mother of 6 die a little more each day. It was the night before her death, and I was invited to a lock-in. I terribly wished to go, but I was so scared my grandma would leave me while I was away. I was finally encouraged to go, so I went. After a couple hours of being there, my dad came to pick me up. He told me they said that she didn't have much time left. As I went through the front doors, I walked into her room. By then she was in a coma, so I just had to sit there and talk and pray she heard my words. As I wept by her bedside, I told her how much I loved her, and how sorry I was for anything I ever did to hurt her. I stayed with her for a few moments then some of my other family members came in. We all began to sing Jesus Loves Me. It became quite ironic later on because as my mom's grandmother was dying of pancreatic cancer, they sang that exact song to her the night before she died, and too add on, she was almost only two years older than my Grandma when she died. I finished saying my goodbyes and went back to the lock-in. It was around 5:00 in the morning or so and time to leave. I came back to grandma's house where we were still staying and my mother told me to go straight to bed because I was so exhausted. At around 6:30 A.M., my mom came upstairs and told me calmly that grandma went to see Jesus this morning. I didn't cry or even have any emotional. I believe it was my lack of sleep and shock of the moment. I went downstairs only to see the body that had held my grandma but that now it was just a aged carcass of where memories were left behind, but even so, all the grandchildren, including myself, laid in the bed beside her crying. My sister took it hardest for she was closest and wouldnt leave the bed until we made her. That morning was a morning of sadness and pain. Everything was numb. The weather seemed to have feelings that day for it was a cool, quiet morning with an orange-pink sunrise that slowly flowed across the sky even though it has been years, the memory of such a God-fearing beautiful woman, is still held dear to our hearts. That is why we remember this day, and honor it by eating at her favorite restaurant (Olive Garden), wearing her favorite colors, ordering what she would've like, and just taking time to remember how much she meant to all of us. I love you, Grandma! I can't wait to see you again someday! <3